Congratulations on your little girl. I know a few things about daughters. I know a little something about yours because for the last couple of years, I’ve had the privilege of hearing her call me “Momma”.
Your girl is unique. I want to tell you about her because men are wired differently and sometimes get confused about reading people. Or maybe I should say they get confused about reading females. Consider this a head start–an advantage.
I’ll start with the worst. Let’s just get that right out of the way. She gives too much. Of everything. Of her time, of her money, of her sweetness. For some amazing purpose, God created her to be a nurturer. He also created her with a high level of vulnerability. He meant it to be her strength. Other people twist it into a weakness. She simply has not had anyone to guide her…to help her build a shield around that tender heart of hers.
I think you will be great for this.
She’s often tempted to be over-generous. This trait has led to trouble in the past. She’s learning, though. That’s one of the most awesome things about her…the way she really does learn from her mistakes. Especially when she has someone to gently talk her through. God created a self-less giver when He made your little girl so you might see this over-generosity arise on occasion. Just let her know that there is a huge need in this ugly world for the kindness she has to offer but it is a thing she must learn to tame.
She’ll listen. She always does.
Someday you’ll see her with a different look in her eye… the joy-filled light you become accustomed to is replaced by something that looks “off” and somehow not “her”. That particular look is panic. For lack of anything positive, she might say to you “…this is the worst day ever…”. You’ll need a dose of patience because there is a trick to helping her not spiral into full-blown panic attack.
When I analyze the reasons for her panic, I can usually track that trail back to a bully. Your little girl’s tenderness and generosity make her an easy target for people whose lights are out in the left frontal lobe. She’ll need you to increase her worth. It is a simple fix.
A lot of people use meds to control panic attacks. Your girl responds well to laughter therapy. The trick is this: you have to be a little bit of a dork. There can be no shame in your dorkiness or it won’t work at all. Figure out a stunt that makes her laugh and use this to reset her response to humanity. You’ll see the beautiful light return to her eyes when she laughs…and you can then have a dialog and guide her through.
Now for the good stuff…
Your little girl is one of the kindest souls I’ve ever known. Her capacity to love is huge and larger than life. I am in awe of these things when I consider how much guidance she’s lived without. In the presence of nurture, she blossoms. She loves people with no conditions. The only thing that comes close to her love for people is her relationship with Dr. Pepper.
Among her favorite foods are barbeque ribs, brisket, potato salad, and vegetables of all kinds. Her favorite cookies are No Bake Cookies…with good quality chocolate and Nutella along with the peanut butter. This is a good indication that she will fit beautifully in the Deep South like a puzzle piece that was always meant to be.
Kind of like what you are to her.
You are going to love her.
I’m looking at the clock and I see it is about time for you to meet her face-to-face for the first time and it might almost be tempting for me to shed a tear like a big ball of mush…but I’m not going to play it like that. I’m going to behave more traditional and kick-ass about this moment when Dads hold their girls for the first time. I’m going to smoke a cigar. A delicious, fragrant vanilla clove cigar…and I will celebrate the gift walking into your world today.
Congratulations on your 28 year old bundle of joy.